Lower Self v Higher Self

29 Sep

After last week of being incredibly lower self and hovering around the 2/3 on the pain-to power chart, the lowest I have been for a long time! this week I am making a concerted effort to move myself up the chart, and so far so good.

I think it is important for me to point out that before I have taken any excercise this week I have been bordering a 5 on the pain to power chart and its very interesting for me to really notice the difference in my mood immediately afterwards and this seems to be lasting into the next day. Increasing my mood and motivation to an 8 on the pain to power chart.

I ran yesterday afternoon in the glorious sunshine along the cliftop – I am very lucky to have this beautiful beach at the end of my road!


One thing I am really noticing as I go through this journey of recovery is how loud my chatterbox is…. that little voice of lower self that constantly witters in my ear that I am not good enough, I am unnatractive, I will never succeed in my business and on and on it goes…. it takes some effort I can tell you to shut this chatterbox up but I am now making a game out of it.

Each time my Lower Self chatterbox kicks off, I make sure I immeditely become aware of it and start to replace it with what my Higher Self Chatterbox is saying… I am learning and getting better and better each day in my business, I am healthy and practising daily exercise to improve my health and appearance, I am attracting the right people into my life to assist with my business ideas … I am encouraging my Higher Self voice to become the predominant one, the habitual one, like I say it is taking some real effort on my part but it is working.  What I am noticing when the Lower self chatterbox kicks off is that I am starting to ask the question and this, I think, is a very important one….

WHERE DOES THAT THOUGHT/BELIEF COME FROM?? as I ponder this for a few minutes I then ask myself

IS IT  A TRUE THOUGHT/BELIEF OR ONE THAT MY LOWER SELF HAS MADE UP?….. more often than not it is one that my lower self has made up. I then replace it with a HIGHER SELF BELIEF and move on. This is a classic example of how you can take a habit – a negative thought, one that happens consistently throughout the day and replace it with a positive, after a few days I am noticing that I am starting to do this without thinking about it.

Please do not underestimate these little nuggets of information I am giving you, these are very powerful techniques, that used daily can transform your thinking as I hope I am showing you in this blog – my journey to mental health recovery.

Have a fabulous day, wherever you are…. I leave you with this thought…


Exercise Regime – C25K!

27 Sep

This morning I dropped Ella at school at 8.35am and made my way to chewton bunny, a cute little woodland with a stream that leads to the beach. I am only just starting my exercise regime so taking it at a really slow pace. My mood this morning – about a 5/6 on the pain to power chart. 1 being the lowest 10 being the highest. This last week has probably been the hardest dip into lower self I have had for a long time. I am not sure what triggered it but it was not very pleasant. I was frightened I was entering the black hole again and maybe I did for a day or two but a couple of friends gave me some helpful advice and a kick up the arse! Thankyou Michelle Jeffreys and Michelle Korrie 🙂

I ran just under 3 miles at a very very slow pace, but do you know what? I did it! I got off my arse and actually did something and that is, I am sure you will agree one of the hardest things you can do when you are really low. I took this picture on route….what do you think? its beautiful isnt it?!

My plan is to run 4 times a week following Robert Ullrey’s Couch to 5k programme. Listening to his podcasts really help me they are basic, simple, easy to follow:- www.c25k.com/podcasts.htm

My mood at the end of the run a level 8……

Interesting……. could this be the start to my ‘healthy’ recovery?


27 Sep

This fabulous charity is a wonderful resource for anyone experience any mental health concern. I STRONGLY advise you to check out their site and find a support worker near you 🙂

Mind helps people to take control over their mental health. They provide information and advice, training programmes, grants and services through their network of local Mind associations. They do all this to make it possible for people who experience mental distress to live full lives, and play their full part in society. How can they  help you?

Gentle Introduction – running made easy!

27 Sep

This is me, weighing in at 10stone, 11 and 3/4 pounds! The heaviest I have ever been in my life, thanks too I largely put down to my depression and white wine! When I am mentally ‘healthy’ and dealing with my emotions in a healthy way, I hover around the 8stone 12 mark, I feel happier, motivated and attractive. Recently I have felt lethargic, de-motivated and had more and more cravings for sugar, curry and alcohol! Not good! So as part of my recovery journey I am committed to recovering my health too, with juicing – see previous posts, exercise and food it general. One of my friends Bobby Bishop, has been sharing her running progress since she started her ‘From couch potato to olympic carrot’ programme:- http://bobbienet.com/, inspired by this lovely ladies progress over these last few months, and her real commitment no matter of the weather, children commitments, work commitments, ill health, she got off her arse and ran! well her progress has been amazing and I invite you to check out her blog!

So with this in mind I have downloaded runkeeper , myfitnesspal and Robert Ullreys Coach to 5k podcasts to assist with my gentle introduction to exercise.

For more info:-




www.lilyslim.com – I will be experimenting with this shortly 🙂

Hop over to My Journal to see how I am getting on.!


Gynaeoid Body Type Juice

27 Sep

I know, I know its GREEN! but as I tell my 5 year old daughter, its not what it looks like that counts, its what it tastes like!!!

This is the juice for my ‘body type’ , I gain weight around my hips and thighs leading to a pear shape. My hormone balance leans to the predominantly estrogenic side – no idea what it means! This is called estrogen dominance, which increases fat deposits around the hips, thighs and buttocks. This is often associated with cellulite! – Another depressive trigger me thinks!

My food cravings often involves fats and refined sugars, which when consumed together increase the body’s sensitivity to estrogen.

Apparently, us Gynaeoids benefit from reducing our consumption of foods combining unhealthy fats and sugars. We also need to increase high-fiber fruit and vegetables, as dietary fibre reduces estrogen dominance.

For more information either buy the book or check out www.liverdoctor.com www.weightcontroldoctor.com

This is the juice for my body type! A gynaeoid!

1/2 cup alfalfa sprouts

1 to 2 dandelion leaves

1 broccoli floret

1 spinach leaf – i put in a handful

1 small carrot

1/4 cantaloupe melon

1 small piece turnip root – oh dear just realised I put in one whole turnip!!! :-/

To be fair this doesnt taste too bad, even with the whole turnip and not the small piece as directed! Its very drinkable and actually filled me up as well.

Raw Juices can save your life – Immune Booster Juice

27 Sep

This is the excellent book that I have had sat on a shelf for about 5 years! I have a liver condition called Gilberts, I am not entirely sure if this is in some way linked with my depression, however, I do suffer with bouts of extreme exhaustion and brain fog which can be linked to this disorder, so I bought the book some time ago to encourage me to make some changes to my diet – However with everything that has happened in the last few years I shoved it to the back of the shelf and forgot about it – untill now that is!

My good friend and fellow Fearbuster, Joanna Southgate recommended I start juicing and adding supplements to my diet to help improve my livers function as well as a way of loosing weight…. Joanna is a fabulous nutritionist and will hopefully be contributing to this site very soon! so keep an eye out for her 🙂

Weighing in at 10 stone 11  3/4 pounds the other day – the heaviest I have been in my life, I have always hovered around the 8 stone 12 mark! –  (this did nothing for improving my depression I can tell you), so with new-found enthusiasm, a commitment to share with you my ups and downs and a way of getting some balance back into my life I am going to give this a bloody good go and see if it has an impact on my mood as well as helps me lose weight! 

The first one I tried was the Immune Booster Juice, recipe as follows:-

1 stick of celery

1 ripe tomato

1 pear

1/2 beetroot

1 carrot

2 dandelion leaves or cabbage leaves

0.2 inch slice fresh ginger root

1/2 to 1 clove garlic-optional

1/2 red onion

1/2 sapote or equivalent pierce soursop – no idea! I didn’t add it

Blended it all and the result was a rather tasty juice!  

A point to make here:- I do not have much time in the mornings to faff about with juicing but this took me 10 mins max! and was enough juice for 5 tall glasses.

Taking responsiblity for my mental health concern!

25 Sep

Welcome to my blog. Its a work in progress I have to admit! However, I am over the coming days, weeks, months going to be blogging about my recovery process regarding my depression and anxiety.

I will be sharing with you my hints and tips for managing your depression and anxiety symptoms in a healthy, empowering way, rather than just relying on your anti-depressants to see you through the day!  (Please seek advice/support from your GP if you are considering coming of your antidepressants – I am just providing you with information about things that are helping me )

I am going to start off with sharing a new exercise programme I have started, a juicing component to my diet as well as any personal development that I find really helpful. I will also be asking you to contribute your stories and share with all of us your insights, experiences and things that are helping in your recovery.

The purpose of this blog is to move us from a position of pain and paralysis to a position of power and love. This journey is not an easy one, I understand this from the bottom of my heart! but I know ultimately I will do it and I will come out the other side. Lets get through this journey together. Feel free to contact me any time to share your thoughts. Share it with your friends on facebook and re-tweet. If you would like to write an article for this blog, again I want to hear from you, I want to hear your stories so please do get in contact with me ….